Have you ever wanted your very own Lightbrosh Imanimate Imsamnity™ merch, but have only $39.99, which isn't enough to afford the official one? Introducing: the Totally Still Offical Laghtbrosh Inmanitae Insamity™ action figure!

Featuring: realistic eyebags (she's Depressed!™), posable arms and legs, realistic bulb (it could probably light up but I haven't tested it yet), and Eyebrows™!

(We trademarked eyebrows. If you have them you need to pay us $300 or we will beat you to death with hammers.)

Now for only $39.99!!!!!!!!!!

...We're also taking milk. In installments.

Have you ever wanted your very own Partlbrop HFJOne™ merch, but you don't want to give money to that LOSER Adam Cats, who I heard has BROWN HAIR and PROBNOUSS?!?! (Everyone knows REAL ones can't afford nouns that went pro!!!!!)

Well, now you can have them!!! Please. They appeared in my house one day and now they're trying to gnaw off my arm.

Featuring: low taper fade (This Meme Is Still Funny™!), teeth like razor blades, brown hair, and nouns that're still in training for the Big Leagues.

We'll give you this one for free. It killed Mark last night. Just fucking, jumped at him and ripped his jugular straight open. Stained the carpet red. It was black before....